Pure Morning

I'm easily obsessed. And when I'm obsessed, I would dedicate my everything for it. I've been obsessed of a lot of things in the past, hobbies, bands, people ... they have one thing in common : expiration date.

Every obsession has an expiration date. And after an intense time of obsessing on something, there is always the perfect time to move on to another obsession.

I was obsessed about Tommy for more than one year, and I was tired of everything. I know I will get back there eventually though. I run a major site for Tommy fandom, I started it, it's my baby and I don't want it to die. More than anything, I have a lot of friends and dedicated people working on the site, and I don't want to lose them. But I did need a fandom fling so there I went, rooting for my queen, Raja.

After 70 days and 616 tumblr posts ... I knew it's time. I was tired. But one more thing I realized, is that more than I was obsessing about Raja and her fierceness or her gorgeous make up or outfits, ... I was obsessing over something for myself. The thrill of finding new pics, the adrenaline rush when I want to be the first to post something, the fun of getting funny comments and a lot of notes, the great feeling looking at the site hit counter and number of followers, the chance of being creative with Photoshop, the fun of meeting new people in the fandom, all of the awesome feelings. More than doing this to root for Raja, I was doing this for myself. To chase the feelings I wanted to feel that I couldn't find in my old fandom.

After doing the same thing consecutively for more than a month, my obsession started fall out. The fun were replaced by pressure, something that was a hobby now was an obligation and this was not how it supposed to work. Not long after Raja was crowned, there were rarely any exciting pics out there and there was no more videos to make gifs of, it was the perfect time to quit. I haven't posted in 3 days and I don't know if I ever will again. I'm satisfied with the result, I don't care if people think what I did was a waste because it wasn't. Because I was doing this for myself and I got what I wanted. I love Raja, I love Sutan and I do think he is a gorgeous man, but really it's time to get back to me.